TEENAGE TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS

Teenage travel arrangements should be approached with caution, advice should be dispensed from behind a bulletproof screen and your escape route planned for no later than 10 minutes after the haggling begins, but before teenage snorts of derision chokes any good sense you thought you possessed. I imagine most parents want their offspring to experience the world, enjoy the cultural diversities other countries can offer and hopefully mature through the freedom of travel. Do you honestly believe this is what actually happens? My own recent experience is a still frequently regurgitated, raw reminder of the reality which frequently occludes the parents of intrepid virgin (in the loosest sense of the word)travellers. Sticking to the original plan becomes the suffocating "ties that bind" and with mobile phones turned off, they and are enthusiastically experiencing everything they agreed not to in their eagerness to escape. Without keeping to any of the fervently agreed on conditions which precluded their departure, their travel plans will have changed beyond recognition, whole continents passed by in a delirious haze of freedom, with companions they have known for no more than the regulation 48 hours which makes you BFF's. Last autumn my son decided he absolutely had to see his sister, who after an absence of 2 months, was so etched in his heart he simply couldn’t bare life without her for another moment. In reality, he saw her new found freedom as irresistible, her student flat as a free place to crash after a wild night out and her endless source of female friends as challenge to his masculinity. The ensemble was a tantillizing, ready made harem. This 19 year olds idyllic holiday abroad was a disaster waiting to happen. Children brought up in a foreign country really adopt their resident countries attitudes and ideas, therefore while we think our kids are going home for a holiday they are, in fact being released into uncharted territory as a loudly ticking bomb. The differences between Scottish and French children are far greater than I imagined and I have to take responsibility for not knowing this and ultimately sending my children out unprepared and ill equipped for life in the UK. Here in rural France they are not exposed to mass commercialism of the UK, sure we have the same reality obsessed television that exists around the planet but we don’t actually have a tv in our home so my children's exposure to this has been limited to reality tv overdosing at friends houses and as parents already know, reality is absorbed in moderation and translated loosely by teenagers. On the up side, French children are extremely polite and mindful of their manners in your presence. They are socially adept and well used to interacting with people of all ages and are happy to spend time talking with parents and grand parents. The family is very important and although French media reports the fabric of French society is breaking down, where we live strong family values are still very much in evidence and streets ahead of what seems to exist in the UK. However, don’t be misled by what the rose tinted “living the dream in France" faction would lead you to believe. French kids drink and smoke hash. Aquitaine has the highest incidence of marijuana smoking in France and it shows. Apathy among teenage boys is rife, exacerbated by a general lack of ambition in French children due, in part, to an incredible class structure which pervades all aspects of French life. Ordinary French children appear to expect to achieve as much as or little than their parents have and will be content to live near their parents for ever. This may seem like a sweeping generalisation, but it is my experience of Rural France. As a direct result of being spoon fed and discouraged from any form of free thinking at school young French adults do not travel as frequently as their European counterparts and are therefore much more insular and innocent. They seem to me, incredibly naive, unquestioningly trusting of the authority and knowledge of their elders and generally clueless about anywhere out with their region. While this innocence is, in many ways a charming quality, their relentless conditioning by parents and teachers mean they are predisposed to completely disbelieve anything a non French person tells them. The friends my children have made in our 9 years in France have been without exception, really nice kids, extremely well mannered, friendly and tenacious in their drive to understand my fledgling French. The same teenagers who have eaten dinner at my table for years, happily tried food alien to them and absorbed the Scottish culture of our home without question will argue for hours with me over situations inconceivable to them in their French life. It's "impossible" that you can open a bank account in 1 hour in the UK. Unbelievable that you must book the megabus well in advance to secure a really cheap seat and despite your reasoning they will leave booking their ticket to the very last minute. Using all the charm of a newly born fawn to enlist your help 3 hours before their flight, they will be be utterly incredulous that the price has gone through the roof and will complain loudly with much huffing, sighing and flailing of arms before kissing you with genuine affection and spending 10 minutes making sure they have not missed one of the numerous phrases used to bid you farewell! Their flight will then be delayed by some inconsiderate Icelandic emissions and they will spend the next 3 days enjoying the sights of Bordeaux while punctuating the delay with frequent trips, by bus, to and from the airport for updates rather than simply checking the website. Depending on your outlook on life this last sentence will have made you either sigh with frustration or purr contentedly. I'm purring.