The Extremely Vicious Circle: pretentious poems

Bitter Fruit
Are my feelings there only
as a tool for your derision.
Constant ridicule wears thin
the soul laid bare before your sacrificial altar.
Sour times, like bitter fruit
linger.

LITTLE HINTS FOR LIFE IN FRANCE

LITTLE QUIPS

Katie Perry's thigh high boots and knickers don't turn me on. I would happily wear them if the pants perhaps joined the boots, as without the MTV climate control and all that jumping around to keep warm I imagine they are not the fun outfit they appear to be on stage. Thanks to extensive fetting in the Telegraph, Guardian and Times, I fear this could be the winter uniform for a generation.
Which generation remains to be seen.
I won't mention her music. Not as interesting as her outfits. Apparently.
I admire her as an independent woman but rebel against her sugar plum coating which, these days, seems sweeter than ever and now aiming for a sticky end with the boots and stockings - if you get my drift.
Would having the ability to change costumes 10 times in an hour and a half enhance my life? Absolutely. On honing my skills recently, to remarkable results, I can now report impressively improved coordination, dexterity, agility and concentration. An improved feeling of self worth can also be achieved as you mouth into the mirror over and over, “I love you” “I love you” I love you” (as I imagine Katie must do )
This works well if your partner is in the room and you're practicing the knickers and boots outfit, although 4 hands do not work faster than 2. I call it my CoDe-x-Age-Con programme. The faster you can change the dizzier you feel the better you look in the mirror. If you are not a self obsessed image junkie, the sheer euphoria of whirling around your bedroom in your pants thinking you look great, while your partner, once his eyes adjust to the blur, happily cheering you on, will catch you every time you trip on the end of the bed. An enormous ego boost, this attentive audience of one will more than make up for not wearing the outfit in public, often. You may be past the cherry popping stage but you will thank the lovely Ms Perry for enlightening you to the true meaning of life.
Appearances are important if you want to be taken...
seriously.
by the music industry.

The Extremely Vicious Circle

Saturday 12 December 2009

pretentious poems

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